{NOT} The Answer We Were Looking For

So, that news that we were hoping to share...turns out it didn't work out like we had hoped and wanted.  Charlie interviewed for his dream job and well...didn't get it. 

There's so much I could say right now, I just can't seem to think of where to start so that it all makes sense, so I guess I'll just start with:

This job was supposed to be more time at home.  This job was supposed to mean easier and more frequent trips to the ball games without having to drive very far with both kids by myself.  This job was supposed to be more meals together at the dinner table.  This job was supposed to be less nights of Charlie not getting to see the kids because they are in bed when he gets home.  This job was supposed to be less of Owen asking, "Where's Daddy?".  This job was supposed to be less of Owen & Claire looking out the window waiting for daddy to come home before bedtime.  This job was supposed to be the answer.  It was supposed to be.

Mom's who are coaches wives are the only ones who understand.  I also don't mean the wives of coaches who coach juniior high teams.  That may sound harsh, but I mean that with every word!  Sure there are others, those husbands who have low paying jobs, but they are most likely home more often.  Sure there are others, those husbands who coach jh and jv teams, but they are most likely home much more often and much more early.  Sure there are others, those husbands who are doctors and surgeons, but they have money to compensate for their time away and most of the time wives who can stay home with their children.  Trust me wives of doctors and surgeons and dentists and attorneys and ceo's and jv coaches, you've got it better.  Money does help!  That time with your kids does helps!  Trust me!  I know you have your own set of issues, but trust me, it's different.  The struggle is different.  The problems are different.  The desires are different.  It's all different. 

Being a mom (#1) and being a coaches wife (#2) are the two hardest things I've ever had to face in my life!  I wouldn't change anyhing if I could go back.  BUT...I'm not going to lie...this is not how I thought my life would go.  This is not how I thought OUR life would go. 

Regardless, even though I will admit, it was easy to pray for God's Will when we thought God's Will was going to be to get the job, we have faith that this truly was God's Will.  We don't know the why's and of course there are always What If's, but we have faith that there is some reason and that he has a bigger plan.  I am very aware that the plan he has for us may not be BIGGER and BETTER in our societies eyes, but whatever it is I know that it will be better to help glorify him.

There have been a lot of tears on my part...A LOT.  I woke up this morning crying...cried some more in the shower...then cried some more on the way to work...then cried some more while I was at work.  To the everyday person who asks, well why are you so upset about this, I can not explain it any other way than...This was supposed to be the answer.  I mean that in every sense possible.  It was just supposed to be!  I just knew it...it was supposed to be!  So when something you feel is right with every fiber of your being turns out completely opposite from what you desired, dreamed, wished, hoped, prayed, begged, needed, etc...it feels pretty darn close to a tragedy!

With that said, I can honestly say I am thankful!  I am thankful:

1.  That I have a job.
2.  That Charlie has a job.
3.  That we aren't wanting for food.
4.  That we can eat out if we wanted to.
5.  That my husband and I both have nice/decent cars.
6.  That we can pay our bills without a struggle.  We may not have left over, but we don't struggle to pay what we do have.
7.  That I have family that I love and that love me.
8.  That Charlie and I aren't having marriage problems like so many people today.
9.  That we aren't fighting for our children's lives.
10.  That we aren't fighting for our lives.
11.  That we have FAITH to hold on to.
12.  That we have a beautiful home to make memories in.
13.  That Charlie now has job security (he's tenured)
14.  That I still have freedom of religion.
15.  That I have a boss I can be honest with and talk to openly about my faith.
16.  I have clothes to go on my back.
17.  That my mommy still knows just what to say to make it all better.
18.  That I still have my mommy!
19.  That I have a dad who loves my husband like his own son!
20.  That I have family who would help us with ANYTHING, all we have to do is ask!
21.  That my sister was able to have a baby!
22.  That I was able to have a baby...two babies!
23.  That God chose me to be the momma of the two most beautiful precious wonderful things I've ever layed eyes on.
24.  That I was able to go to school and get a college degree.
25.  That God gave me a talent beyond what I could have ever imagined.

I could go on...and on...and on...and on...and on...

FAILED {MISERABLY}

This post won't be long, it won't be whiny (too whiny), it won't be short, it won't be proud, it won't be motivational...but needless to say, I failed pretty horribly yesterday and today with the new "challenge" Charlie and I had started.  I guess it could have been worse!  No, I did not eat sweets (aka: candies and cakes), but I did eat a 550 Calorie sandwhich for lunch and I did eat a bowl of cereal...yes I said it, cereal for supper last night.  To top it all off, it was a bowl of, oh well, I'll just tell the truth, it was a bowl of Fruit Loops...and not just any old regular bowl of Fruit Loops, it was the Fruit Loops with Marshmallows in it! AHHHH!  Also, I went pretty hard core for todays lunch as well...eating a Chicken Burrito and Nachos w/Refried Beans at lunch.  Also, we didn't even work out last night!  I know we aren't necesarrily on a diet, and I guess I didn't realy stear too far off from what the actual "challenge" is, but I feel like I let myself down a little by stuffing my face with just whatever I wanted.  I didn't give in and drink any soda or anything, so that was a plus...sort of!  I hope to work out pretty hard tonight and hopefully that will make me feel better.  I'm slowly getting past not shoving my face with the little debbies and candy in between meals like I used to do.  I still crave the soda a little, but not too bad.  Ever since my mom said I could drink unsweet tea, that has helped A LOT! 

On another note, something special happened today that Charlie and I have been waiting for what seems like forever to happen.  I can't give details as it could jeopardize some stuff (not that anyone reads this - I know I'm talking to a "pretend" audience)!  We hope to be able to give some sort of good news in a few weeks at the most!  Meanwhile we will continue to pray about this certain something and know that whatever happens was the decision of God!

Hello {Goodbye}

Well I have failed miserably so it seems! I started a new day, a new post, a new blog look...Hello, here I am, the new blogger, the more punctual blogger! Then...nothing! It's probably been a month now! I am probably the worst blogger on the face of the internet. Oh well, here, I'll give it another go.

 

Not much going on in this girl's life...same ol' same ol'. The kids are doing good, they both spent the night away for the first time and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. They did really well for their aunt. I got pictures and videos the whole time they were gone so I didn't even really miss them too bad.

 

Charlie and I started a "30 Day Challenge". I know it doesn't seem like much, but we are hopeful! We aren't overweight anything awful, but it's enough to make each of us miserable when looking at how our clothes no longer fit. This may be something embarrasing for most girls to talk about, but it isn't embarrasing for me. As a matter of fact, it's sort of like motivation!

 

Our challenge at first was:

• Cut out Soda's 
• Cut out Sweets/Candies/Desserts
• 30 minutes of Cardio
• 3 sets of 30 Push Ups
• 300 Sit Ups.

We quickly realized that this challenge was almost impossible to be our starter Challenge. Although, we didn't drift from the original Challenge too much.

 

Our Challenge now is:

• Cut out Soda's High in Calories and Sugar
• Cut out Sweets/Candies/Desserts High in Fat and Sugar
• 30 minutes of Dancing
• 3 sets of 30 Push Ups (actuals: Charlie does 100 Push Ups and 30+ Tricep workouts. I do 90 Push Ups and 30 Tricep workouts)
• 150 Ab Workouts (actuals: Charlie does 100 Crunches, 100 Twists. I do 25 Sit Ups, 75+ Twists, 25 Leg Raises)

I must note here, we have been on this Personal Challenge for 8 days now. We haven't eaten sweets (except for some sugar free yogurt one day) in the entire 8 days. We also typically drink water or unsweet tea. Charlie drinks some diet soda, but me, I think I've had a few sips of a diet soda once in the 8 days. It's been tough. It's been REALLY tough! I've been struggling with it, but I seem to make it through the day anyway, even without the sweets. I realize I won't see much of a difference since I am still eating regular foods and fast foods. We are taking everything one step at a time and we want to be healthier about eating, we just know ourselves, and we know with our busy lifestyle that it would be easy to fail if we just jumped in full force! I look forward to working out with Charlie every afternoon/evening after we put the baby girl to bed! It is NOT fun while doing the workout, and on most days during the workout I don't feel like I've accomplished much with the little measly workout that we do, but I know that it IS something and it's better than doing nothing, which is what I used to do. I know if I can stick to it that I will get stronger and be able to do more. I already notice a difference in the amount of each workout I do at a time. Again though, it's nothing significant, I won't be winning any awards for the most reps, I won't be making any trips to the olympics for record times, but the self accomplishment I feel when I lay down at night after the workout and wake up with in the morning is enough for me and my husband!

 

Here are some before pictures. We aren't pretty to look at, but we're hoping to see a difference from the before and out after pictures (on June 4).